How did your Holy Thursday go? Where you able to do any kind of Seder meal, abbreviated or not? Eileen and I attempted the unleavened bread; as we went, it brought up many questions. We mixed and kneaded, and asked ourselves--temperature seems to be important as various points, such as the instruction that warm water be used--of course, how warm is warm?--so what about the butter? Having it warm(er) makes it easier to mix, but no temperature is specified. So could we warm it up, for ease of mixing, or keep it cool? Of course, the author could be working on the assumption that the butter would be warm(ish), if, she, like my husband does, keeps butter at room temperature anyway. The best instruction, of course, after the kneading, was to put the bread under a "hot bowl" for half an hour. What kind of bowl? How do you keep it warm for half a hour? What temperature is "warm," and how do you distinguish between 'hot' and 'warm,' and does it honestly matter? So many questions! But we tried it, and we produced something that feels like we recreated Pillsbury's pre-made crossaints at the stage when you remove them from the can but before you roll them up into crescents. So we had our Seder "meal," with unleavened bread, wine, and horseradish mixed with a little bit of olive oil for our version of bitter herbs. We were going to attempt a more traditional rest of the meal, for the adults, at least. Since it was Thursday, our traditional pizza night, we ordered Little Caesars for the kids. Unfortunately, (or fortunately, I leave it to you), Door Dash was confused, and we ended up with, instead of a pepperoni pizza and a cheese pizza, three different kinds of pepperoni pizza (thin crust, deep dish, and regular crust). I did not know that all of the kinds of pepperoni existed. In light of this bonanza, and the fact that we won't be eating the leftovers today, it was pizza night for everyone! Not the most traditional of Seders, I feel. But it did feel harried and of the moment, so I feel that the spirit was kept, if nothing else. Ready to eat and run, indeed.
The blessings were good--blessing of bread and wine together, around the table, by candlelight. Kids complained of the taste of the bread, of course, but we had a discussion of what we were doing, and I was pleasantly surprised by how well the kids seemed to understand. Especially the nine year old and the eight year old (my first communicant this year), who answered questions very thoroughly about the Last Supper/first Mass, about the bread and wine becoming the Body and Blood of our Lord, and the words of Consecration said by Jesus and then, of course, said at every Mass. That was a blessing too.
So now we are in Good Friday mode and getting ready for our Good Friday commemoration. It makes me wish that we had at some time purchased a wooden clanger; it is this sound, more than any other element, that always brings Good Friday home to me in a visceral, chills down in the spine sort of way. The replacement of the welcoming bells with the dolorous thud of the wooden blocks. But we have plans. Christopher is going to teach the kids the Stabat Mater; I look forward to seeing how that will go. The kids are downstairs currently coloring pages with the Stations of the Cross; at 3:00, we will feature them in our makeshift Stations. We will have fourteen candles lit, and we will show the kids' Stations as we pray each Station, and extinguish the lit candles until we reach the end, and no light is left.
It feels like that is where we are caught right now, in that limbo between where the light is out and we are looking to the light resuming on Easter. This pandemic, like all crises, serves many purposes--it reveals the cracks, the things we try to hid and paper over, and gives us the chance, in a way we don't have in ordinary time, to ask big questions and try to create big answers. It is such a time for our society, and for our church. Why, with this rich society, and the society that devotes so much money and resources to the medical system, are we so terribly unprepared to deal with this emergency; why do we not have the doctors, nurses, and supplies we need? Why do we cut essential things to the bone? It shows what we value as a society, where we spend our money; where has all our money gone, when we don't have the PPE that we need?
It also calls on us to ask what it means to be church itself, when the sacraments are being kept from us, supposedly for our own good. But the church is there to provide the sacraments; at the most basic level, that is the point of the church. But fear has locked the doors, and even when practices are developed to let us have the Mass, with precautions taken, such as drive-in Masses, we are denied even these comforts. I have long feared this development, seeing that if such a situation arose, our leaders would take the choice of fear, rather than standing up for us. There is a divide in the church, I see, that we don't talk about, and what all the other arguments we have are proxies for, fundamental differences that boil down to the question of: what is the purpose and meaning of church? Is it justice--what our society deems and calls justice--or is it charity--caritas, love--of which justice is the handmaiden? Justice, after all, can only flow from charity, the highest purpose; if we aim for justice, we will not achieve charity. If we aim for charity, though, we can achieve justice. What is the center of our lives? Does the church offer us God's grace in the sacraments, or does it serve the goals of the society it finds itself in? We have to ask ourselves that question. We need to discuss how to answer that question. And we need to determine how we build that church, because when the initial, present, crisis is done, we are going to be in a deeper, longer crisis, where the old answers won't hold anymore, because we have seen the cracks and we know we can't paper over them anymore. Our job, as women, mothers, laity, is to see the church that we need to have, to hold that image in front of our church leaders, and work with them to create that church.
In light of living the church which we want to create, then, here are ideas for Holy Saturday and Easter Vigil. Holy Saturday itself feels pretty self-explanatory; preparation, decorations, removal of purple cloth on all of the icons and pictures (we de-purple the house!), the annual dying of the Easter eggs. But for the Vigil: no Mass, no Easter water, no welcoming rite of baptism. Maria von Trapp makes me feel emptiness, as the majority of her ideas for Easter Vigil revolve around the liturgy itself, with the lighting of the Paschal candle, and all the candles, the baptismal service with lessons, Litany of the Saints, and blessing of the Easter water, followed by midnight Mass.
Light, though, of course, is the predominant metaphor for this day, the Light of the World reborn. We are putting out the lights in our Good Friday Stations of the Cross, and so for our Easter Vigil, we welcome light back in. To my husband's sorrow, I think that we will have to have a blessed fire in the backyard. Do you have a fire pit handy? We got one last summer; it is quite inelegant, a little metal bowl placed on bricks, with a couple of metals benches surrounding it. I wanted a fire pit for a while, and while it is not fancy, it gets the job done nicely. I have taught the nine year old the joys of fire building, and he is getting quite proficient on his own. And we have learned, through many years of vicissitudes in trying to celebrate St. John's Eve, with a blessed bonfire (the whole point of the feast, right?), that it is possible to have a blessed bonfire with a layman if necessary. (I will include the blessing for a fire at the end of this post.) So, a blessed fire, burning our impromptu branches from Palm Sunday (they were blessed with holy water, so burned they must be). We can recite a Litany of the Saints. We can read the Gospel and lessons if small children are patient enough. Maria von Trapp points out that Easter fires are traditional celebrations in Europe, "innumerable bonfires ... lit in honor of the Risen Lord." (She also mentions the Boellerschiessen, where the young men shoot their "old fashioned heavy rifles" and the "echo takes up those cannon-like detonations," but unless you are really isolated up in the mountains, maybe skip this particular celebration.) Mary Reed Newland suggests reading the Gospel, renewing of baptismal vows that are normally part of the liturgy, the blessing of fire and of the paschal candle. I think having the blessed fire, reading the Gospel, reciting the Litany of Saints and maybe, the renewal of the baptismal vows, sounds lovely.
I am also very tempted to create my own Paschal candle; we will see what Christopher will let me get away with. Mary Reed Newland offers these suggestions: cutting the design into a candle, with a cross with the alpha and omega signs on top and bottom and the numerals of the year written out, (so 2020), one number per quadrant of the cross. She suggests, after the cutting, painting them with red oil paint. At the four points of the cross and at its center, pierce with a hot skewer and insert a clove (looks like nails). I include the blessing for the paschal candle below as well.
Blessing for a New Fire
V. The Lord be with you.
R. And with thy spirit.
Let us pray. O God, who through Thy Son, the corner stone, hast bestowed on the faithful the fire of Thy glory, sanctify this new fire produced from a flint for our use; and grant that by this paschal festival we many be so inflamed with heavenly desires, that with pure minds we may come to the feast of perpetual light. Through the same Christ Our Lord.
R. Amen
(Sprinkle fire with holy water)
Blessing of the Paschal Candle
V. The Lord be with you.
R. And with thy spirit.
Let us pray. May the abundant infusion of Thy blessing descend upon this lighted Candle, we beseech Thee, almighty God: and do Thou, O invisible regenerator, look down on it, shining in the night; that not only the sacrifice that is offered this night may shine by the secret mixture of Thy light; but also into whatsoever place anything of this mystically blessed object shall be brought, there the power of Thy majesty may be present, and all the malice of satanic deceit may be driven out. Through Christ our Lord.
R. Amen
(Sprinkle candle with holy water).
I hope these reflections help you in celebrating Holy Saturday and the Easter Vigil in your domestic church, as we work together on our common task of building the church. Please let me know how it goes!
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